I made an attempt to connect by mailing Christmas cards this year. Yes, there’s such a thing as social media these days but believe it or not, not all I know use it. I was partly successful. Here’s one card I sent out, looking both hopeful and isolated.

I recently found a stash of old cards, some from my 102 year old aunt, and I went through them, finding everything from the philosophical to the glittery to the playful.

This one is by far the oldest. 

These are from the 80s and 90s. Ziggy (top right) was popular from the late 60s to the mid 80s.

This one hit me because of its kind tone. According to a search, it is from American Greetings in the early 90s, before we as a nation became hardened after 9-11. 

Yes, baby Jesus looks remarkably white but when is the last time you saw the gentle side of Christmas reminding you to love and be kind? Kindness is kind of outdated.

I’m not sure if you are familiar with the “Dan Brown” style ideas about Mary Magdalene and the more gentle and magnanimous side of Christianity but if not, here is a non-academic run down of it.  Here is a more academic version. One thing is known, the rich and powerful couldn’t endure any of that equality stuff. I’ve seen this play out in my own town. The influence of the greedy on our lives is truly exhausting. And they aren’t letting up.

We were all warned that kindness would be seen as a weakness and this is because “real kindness involves acknowledging the existence of injustice.”  Kindness and all of its moral high ground, is basically free, but we as a nation reject it over and over. Kindness, it seems, is only for kids. 

Kindness works against authoritarianism. To believe in authority is often associated with reduced empathy for those not like you. Having empathy, even doing things like wearing a mask, is not a winning proposition.

Looking at that card made me peaceful. You know what? Kindness reduces stress. “Kindness and caring are prosocial behaviors that build positive interpersonal connections and can uplift both the giver and receiver.”

Yes, “kindness creates positive (supportive and meaningful) social connections, which, in turn, reduce the response to stressors as well as fulfill basic, innate needs that are critical to health and longevity. Under the umbrella term of “kindness” are included.”

Besides being socially beneficial, kindness helps reduce anxiety on an individual level. Mean vibes, as in tough guy, hurt you.

This shouldn’t be confused with having no boundaries or letting the narcissists walk all over you. Read here if this is your worry.

Maybe next year, I will find a kind, sappy card. In the meantime, we can all benefit from recognizing that mean attitudes along with selfishness and greed hurt all of us. Don’t be afraid to reject the mean side of things. As it says in the previous link, walk away after the third mean thing.  As Of Montreal says, “If you feel like you can’t do it for yourself then do it for us.”

And if you have any tips for making Christmas and the rest of this year kinder, send them my way!