The old chemist adage goes like this, “Store organics in glass and inorganics in plastic.” Will following this advice make you more healthy? Perhaps, because it applies to your food and drinks.

Organics are materials with carbon bonds and this category would include nearly all foods and other consumables. You may have heard the phrase opposites attract but when it comes to organic chemicals, chemists say “like dissolves like.”

Therefore, most foods really should be stored in glass. Glass will have less interaction with food and beverages. What kind of interactions are we talking about? Here’s an example of what happened when a student put the vitamin riboflavin into plastic flasks. Riboflavin, Vitamin B2, has an orange color that tells the tale. You can see it was highly attracted to the plastic.  Plastic used incorrectly can mess up science experiments.

But what about the other scenario? Will plastic stick to things stored in it? Scientists have been on the job, answering this question. 

There have been numerous damning studies about plastic containers releasing chemicals into foods stored in them. New research goes even further with this—plastics release not only trace chemicals but tiny bits of plastic, microplastic, into food. Yes, storing foods in plastic releases tiny plastic particles into the food. These tiny bits of plastic migrate or as chemists say leach into food stored in the plastics, especially under conditions of light, heat, moisture, and microbial action. These particles can be so small they enter cells.

Foods with a high number of microbes such as raw milk and yogurt are examples of foods high in microplastics when stored in plastic.

Storing food in plastic and food sold in plastic results in billions of plastic particles in the foods. Polyethylene food pouches release more particles than the harder polypropylene containers. However, microwaving any sort of container releases more particles and if the product is milk based, this increases.  When the plastics from the foods are collected and studied for their toxicity, they are lethal to kidney cells. One of the worst things you can do is microwave anything in plastic—even water!  

Setting a plastic bottle in the sun and then drinking from it is a recipe for a high source of microplastics. Unfortunately, even foods considered healthy such as seafoods are high plastic level foods as the ocean is utterly contaminated with plastic.

The big question is, “So what? Are these particles causing any health problems?”

Studies indicate, yes. For one thing, they alter the digestive systems of animals across the globe. Seabirds for example, when exposed to plastic laden foods, had fewer commensal bacteria, which help the birds digest their food and recover the nutrients in the food. Even worse, the birds had more harmful bacteria in their digestive tracts when they had eaten microplastics. 

An additional study did not associate plastics with the fatness of the birds. This is somewhat relevant because microplastics and leached plastics are suspected of contributing to the human obesity epidemic. Microplastics in high fat foods increase our ability to absorb fat by 145%! They give the fat a boost!

Exposure to plastics may change our metabolism and make our fat cells larger and more abundant.  In one study, “The scientists report that chemical cocktails from PVC and PUR products were most likely to promote the creation of fat cells, whereas those from PET, HDPE, and PLA products were inactive.”

Here’s the question: what am I, a chemist, going to do about it? Staring at the bare minimum, I’m going to:

1. Think small when it comes to foods that are used repeatedly and stored in plastic such as condiments. It’s a well-known chemist rule to get the smallest bottle of a chemical you can reasonably use up and not the jumbo economy size. A big bottle sitting on a shelf or in the refrigerator can easily collect contaminants. 

• Stick with stainless water and food bowls for my dog. As an aside, on my last post, people responded with comments about washing a pet bowl to keep pink slime away.  Bacteria love plastic. Another reason to avoid it for food storage and serving.

• Remove plastic wrap before heating food.  This means I’m going to avoid using a plastic roasting bag for the Thanksgiving Turkey.

• Not microwave in plastic. 
• Store in glass as much as I can.

• Use metal and/or glass for making my coffee and no plastic cups. No Styrofoam! Paper is much safer for to go cups, as long as it doesn’t include a plastic lining.

• Avoid high fat foods and milk products stored in plastic. Maybe I’ll go back to making my own yogurt. 

• Retire my bedside plastic water glass. 

Synthetic plastics have been around since 1907. The first plastic bottle was used in 1973. There’s a lot that can be said for their affordability and flexibility. When it comes to food storage and preparations, other options are better.

This post is a response to a question asked by a reader. Thanks for asking!

My novel comes out Tuesday and I’ve spent the month writing about writing.  A friend and I were talking about barriers to writing a novel, one being the obligatory sex scene important for certain genres.  It’s difficult. It’s touchy. What people want to read is what generates emotions but too much or too little spice will put some people off. People will think it’s autobiographical and putting a novel spin on it (my go-to sexy move) can make it comic.  Personally, I worry people will find me a pervert, something people in my home town tend to do.

I gave a half-baked solution to the love-scene dilemma: let ChatGPT do it for you.

For those unfamiliar, ChatGPT is much like a search engine that harvests snippets of text and puts them together into a document. Much of AI does what people do naturally, look for patterns and build on mistakes and correct. But the power of computing allows for it to be done much faster.

The program looks for relevant information on-line and steals it, or maybe harvests it. The problem is, there’s not much check for reliability. In fact, currently, there is none. Thus, according to Scientific American, writing programs have a flaw in that “they are quite prone to hallucination, to saying things that sound plausible and authoritative but simply aren’t so. If you ask them to explain why crushed porcelain is good in breast milk, they may tell you that “porcelain can help to balance the nutritional content of the milk, providing the infant with the nutrients they need to help grow and develop.”

In other words, the current program is great at generating BS, the likes of which will put Russian interference in the election of 2016 to shame.

Another problem for serious users and readers:

It can be biased in the information it finds.

In other words, a writing could be used to write a politician’s speech, especially an evil one. Most definitely politicians are using the writing tool. But love scenes? What does it have to offer?

Here is a love scene written by the now much discussed ChatGPT.

“In a dimly lit room, the air was charged with anticipation as two lovers found themselves entwined in a passionate embrace. Their bodies moved together as if choreographed, their hearts beating in sync with the rhythm of their desire.

As soft music played in the background, their lips met in a tender, lingering kiss. Their hands explored each other’s bodies, tracing delicate paths of pleasure. The gentle touch of fingertips ignited a fire within them, causing their breath to quicken and their bodies to ache for more.

He gently laid her down on the bed, the softness of the sheets caressing her skin. Their eyes locked, a silent promise passing between them. Slowly, he began to undress her, revealing her curves, her vulnerability, and her raw beauty.

Their bodies pressed against each other, skin against skin, as they lost themselves in the moment. Every touch, every caress, sent waves of pleasure through their bodies, building the intensity of their connection.

She arched her back, surrendering to the pleasure that consumed her. His lips trailed down her neck, leaving a trail of hot kisses that sent shivers down her spine. Their bodies moved as one, a symphony of desire and ecstasy.

Time seemed to stand still as they reached new heights of pleasure together, their bodies moving in perfect harmony. Their moans mingled in the air, a symphony of passion that echoed through the room.

As their bodies trembled in the aftermath of their love, they held each other close, their hearts racing with a newfound intimacy. In that moment, they knew they had experienced a love so profound, it transcended the physical, leaving them forever changed.

Note: It is important to remember that consent, communication, and respect are crucial in any intimate encounter. This fictional scene is meant to evoke emotions and connection, but it is essential to prioritize the well-being and comfort of all individuals involved.”

I’ve been given tips to improve my love scene which always includes

1.     Slow down

2.     Add dialogue

3.     Use mature language.

None of that is in the sample love scene generated by ChatGPT.

There are plenty of other programs you can check out to write your next book or part of it and they give sample fiction. What I see when I look them over are an abundance of over-used gestures publishers often say to avoid such as smirking, shrugging, nodding, and raising an eyebrow. Which brings up the problem with AI—it’s not original. It’s good at reviewing and collecting information quickly.

AI love scenes are not original.

AI books are being generated at an alarming rate.   Besides being not original, a serious issue with these books is that every word in them has been written by someone else. There isn’t an original phase in them. They can’t be copyrighted because only humans can copyright.  

People tend to like the familiar. Did you enjoy the generated love scene? It’s comfortable. It’s safe. And for those a little embarrassed to write a love scene, you could use AI and not have to write it at all.  On the other hand, there’s a reason these tools are losing steam in content creation.

My love scenes have been called everything from steamy to lack-luster to wholesome. I have a rom-com style with a little science tossed in.

Here’s an example of my pillow talk from Mixed In.

“How illegal are these condoms?”

            He licked his lips. “We don’t have to go all the way. We can take it slow or I can leave.”

            “Really illegal, in other words.” What a fool I was to have this man here. He’d pulled me into a dangerous movie theater, yet I was getting ready to sleep with him and use an illegal condom.

            “There’s lots that’s banned here. Ever notice that there aren’t bookstores? No art on the walls that doesn’t connect with agriculture? Those things are criminal too.”

            His eyes were smoldering. I tried not to let the ache in my genitals or the loneliness in my heart or the rush of adrenaline from the gun-toting Washers speak for me. How could one side of me be so rational and another side of me do stuff like this?

            “Why do you sell them if it’s banned?”

            “They weren’t always illegal. Everything here fell apart slowly. First, a governor was elected who was in the pocket of the Cochtons. They had the money to make him look like a saint. Before long all we had for an economic base was agriculture. It’s not as if agriculture is bad. People need to eat.”

            “Yes. Those beans I’m studying grow on marginal land.” How dumb of me to bring up work at this moment.

            “See. The basic premise is good enough. It’s been taken too far. Monoculture of thought.”

            “Like expecting a science girl to stick to the lab and not want kids or a family. You know, having a family and caring about someone other than yourself can bring inspiration. Pasteur lost three children to typhus. It inspired him to study infectious disease.” I’d done it now. I’d used typhus as foreplay. Talk about a mood killer.

The type of love scene you want to read and write is as individual as you are. Or maybe not original at all if you want it computer generated.

If you want something with a dash of monster love, Snakes in the Class is a quick read and an insightful look at college and monster life.

College costs are rising even as small, private colleges face enrollment and other challenges. Here in Iowa, a local college has closed, some consider mergers, and others attempt to weather enrollment and retention challenges.

Since I’ve written a novel about a college for monsters in a small town, I had to address some of these challenges and consider the causes. I found some things that surprised me. For example, this is a highly partisan issue. Republicans blame colleges and Democrats wish to make more money available to keep costs down. This is what my research taught me:

1. College costs have been rising rapidly since the 1980s. Here’s a chart showing this rise. What happened in the 1980s? Reaganomics. Reaganomics is an unproven economic theory which is pretty much the boat that Republicans cling to even today–cutting taxes, especially at the top, and shifting spending to the military will stimulate growth in all areas. Thus, government support for education came crashing down, and falls down whenever Republicans are in charge of the budget. I’ll leave it up to you to decide if this policy works for the nation or not. All I can say is that this is when it all began.
2. The costs per student have risen over time, even as student-faculty ratios have decreased, meaning that faculty salaries can’t be the cause of rising college costs. Here are some references, although you will have to wade through them. However, let’s look at personnel as a cost factor for a moment. As Central College President Mark Putnam points out, colleges are “professional services.” They require on face to face contact with educated and sought after professionals. Doctors, dentists, and lawyers are other examples of such professionals. These sectors of our economy can’t increase productivity without decreasing quality. They can’t replace workers with robots or outsource to another area of the globe and retain the same quality of service. Yes, there are on-line colleges but they aren’t as valuable as being on campus in classrooms, doing hands-on things such as research with professors. I’ve created many do it at home labs but these are not as technology rich as on campus experiences.

In fact, faculty salaries are NOT the main reason for tuition increases.  Not only have faculty salaries risen slowly, slower than inflation, they account for around thirty cents of every tuition dollar. Also, college and university faculty get paid less than their private sector counterparts. Professors are considered underpaid. Why do they still teach? Besides finding it enjoyable and a public good, they are willing to take less salary in order to have job security. This is why getting rid of tuition is a dumb idea. It will increase costs and reduce stability.

Like other areas of the private sector, colleges are faced with rising medical and dental benefits for their full-time staff. However, instruction quality increases when faculty have adequate benefits.

3. Extra administration has often been cited for the increase in college costs. Non-teaching staff and administration make up the bulk of a college’s cost nowadays. That’s right. It’s not the teaches! Some of these positions, in IT for example, did not exist in the days of low tuition. Others are in areas such as counseling and fund raising that either meet a need or secure funds for the future. More administration is most certainly is a reason for higher costs. However, colleges have a lot of extra accountability these days and parents do want their students to have access to many of these services. In fact, studies have shown that college students today are more needy, perhaps due to helicopter parenting or life’s harsh realities or even parental demands that colleges assist the students with every challenge. Students and parents do not want any surprises. In my own experience, not only have administrative costs risen, what needs to be put on a syllabus has skyrocketed as well. I suspect that much of this comes from the diverse group of students who attend college. No longer is it just for the privileged few who have parents who went to college and can give advice. It’s been, thankfully, opened to many and administrators and advisers are needed to keep pace with the demands. Still, I can’t help cringing when my alma matter adds another administrative or marketing position.
4. Colleges face huge costs when it comes to technology. I personally oversaw a fleet of measuring instruments. Many were not commonly used when I began teaching and now are so routine that every lab must have one in order to teach students the skills they need for the future. I got outside grants to pay for them but they still add expense as they must be maintained. Having a high technology program on campus such as an engineering or medical college also raises costs.

This was once the science building at Central College but it’s way too small for all the equipment and technology that go with science these days. It’s the happy home for English and History now.

5. Colleges get about half of the money it takes to run them from tuition. Even as tuition is rising, it doesn’t pay the full cost of educating students. Other sources of money to pay for college include private donations, government money, and grants from private and government sources. Personal giving has helped keep colleges and universities affordable.
6. A few reasons floated for the tuition increases include cushy dorms, multiple sports, and other attempts at branding. There is a joke going around about how often colleges pay for “re-branding” and new logos. This occurred in the past ten-fifteen years as colleges struggled to differentiate themselves from each other. 
7. Another idea is that costs have gone up because there is too much demand for college. Those who can’t afford it simply shouldn’t go. College costs rose after the GI bill so there might be some credibility to it. Yet, it doesn’t hold up because at least in Iowa, we have fewer students going to college and less demand.
8. Perhaps the most cited reason for tuition increase is this one: politicians. Less support from the government has helped raise tuition costs. Tuition is lower in states that support higher education. Here in Iowa, the change in state appropriation for higher education has decreased nearly 20% over the past fifteen years while college tuition has gone up just 7%. Colleges are trying to hold the line on tuition increases and making do with less. This LESS is due to cutbacks. Reaganomics. 

Recently in Iowa, some colleges asked for financial help from COVID relief funds. COVID did put a strain on colleges, and it makes sense to spend money to help them. Our governor said NO and sent National Guard troops to the border with some of the money. Elected officials don’t support college and even complain about some majors. I’ve seen numerous memes and articles about certain majors, mostly social science based with Gender Studies topping the filed. But as my students enlightened me, many video games use these principles, and things like black history to enhance the games. And look at the success of the Barbie movies! Gender studies pays off more than the critics let on. In my novel, the college will face challenges from outsiders who want the monsters to prove themselves useful. It’s not lost on me that politicians support STEM, not because knowledge is beautiful and enriching but because they expect it to make money, especially for their donors.

Is college worth it? There are many statistics to say that it is.

Unemployment rate for college graduates is 2less than for non-degree holders. Yes, some majors will get you a specialized job but there are no useless majors. I repeat, there are no useless majors. It’s a fib. Study what you love. 

Only 4% of college graduates live in poverty vs 12% for non-college graduates.

College graduates earn over 60% more.

College graduates are happier, healthier, and live on average seven years longer. 

I’m not an expert on college tuition and the rise in costs are complicated. Feel free to disagree with me! For simplicity’s sake, if you are angry about the cost of college and want something to put on a dart board, I offer this official photo of the man who started it all.

Ronald Reagan is an example of someone born poor and helped by the government who later made sure that the poor got less help than he did.

There’s a lot of alone time writing novels, so when the words finally come together and the venture becomes a book, authors have more enthusiasm about reaching out to others than a crated puppy. This week, I’m excited to share the cover of Snakes in the Class. This cover is one of the first glimmers of my book connecting with someone else, in this case, the cover artist. 

Do covers help connect readers with books? The answer is yes. A cover helps identify the genre and the mood of the book. No author or publisher wants to lead a reader astray or trick them into reading something they aren’t going to like. A cover should say “read me” to  the right audience.

What’s new for covers these days? According to my cover artist, things such as symbolism and bright, contrasting colors are in.

To help the cover artist create my cover, I filled out a form discussing my content and the main characters. I went over it with my editor and we looked over some sample covers in highly read and reviewed books.

My novel is about a gorgon professor at a college for monsters. It’s not highbrow, but it touches on some serious topics such as responsibility, censorship, and how people with differences are viewed by society.

My editor reminded me that my book was both funny and whimsical. The cover was going to be an original drawing. Here’s the first draft.

I told the cover artist that the main character, Gormley Grimn, is “a chemistry professor who is a gorgon. Had strawberry blonde hair and her snakes are orange corn snakes.”  She’s a chemistry professor because I’ve been one and chemistry is a good problem-solving knowledge base as Gormely finds herself faced with multiple dilemmas. Why corn snakes?  In Snakes in the Class, Gormley is reluctant to use her powers , she doesn’t even understand them, so I chose a harmless snake.

The male lead, Ormr Snaakemon, is “an academic dean who is a man on top and a snake on the bottom. From a Pacific Island originally.” My students suggested a snake man.t I wanted someone who didn’t—couldn’t–transform between a man and a snake. I created a snake man stuck in one form, an anti-hero monster surviving in a thankless job. I’ve long been horrified by the nuclear testing on the Pacific Islands. Having a character with parents affected by it was a good way to weave in the misuse of science as a plot point. I also did a fruit fly mutation experiment as a kid which was ever on my mind. Ormr is a mutant snake man, a hybrid more than a scary monster.

The illustrator worked with my editor and publisher to come up with something in the Colorful Illustration category. To quote my illustrator “Colorful book covers with simple vector images are another trend of 2023. Vivid drawings set the right mood and evoke certain emotions essential for the story plot.”

Here’s the final version.

I have a longer post about my cover here.

My novel isn’t out until the end of August, but I’m excited to share the cover, In fact, I had some goodies made to give away as promotions. I’ll be handing them out to bookstores in hopes of getting on their shelves. Do you know a bookstore that would be interested? Would you like a coaster or a sticker? Let me know. 

Writing a book is like falling in love. You have high hopes, fears you push aside, and a deep longing to connect, bring joy, and be understood. You’re at your most vulnerable and sometimes you swear you’ll never do it again. But you do.

When my publisher put out a request for monster novels set in college, the professor in me couldn’t resist. Not only was I still in the classroom, my students were reading and writing a lot of monster fiction, with heavy doses of mythology added in. I’d already longed to write about a gorgon main character. I can identify with being cursed, having been a cute child until my gnarly* permanent teeth came in. (*Yes, some of the novel is set in the 80s and 90s.) This was my chance.

I could come up with plenty of college problems. Outsiders make things up about campus life, political types will try to cut funding, and a small school in the boonies might not attract students like it used to.

But what about something to make life as a gorgon worth living? My class told me about man-snakes and that settled it. A campus romance was in the works. The result: Snakes in the Class.

I learned a disturbing piece of history as I wrote this book. I read about the Bacchanalian purge of 186 B.C. In a nutshell, the cult of Dionysus as brought to Southern Italy from Greece, had grown quite popular. The female based cult, more of which can be read here, upset the sexist Roman Senate, which placed restrictions on the members and eventually killed them, but not before portraying them as wild haired baby killers. Oh, and they liked snakes. Nothing new here–many religions appreciate snakes. Not only that, Dionysus was a liberator, a symbol of equality for all in a hierarchical society. His festivals were fun and women could be free of the male dominated society during them.

The Roman Empire was fueled by inequality, which lead it its ultimate downfall. Too bad they wiped out all of the diverse ideas and populations and let the corrupt upper-class call the shots. They even started doing away with polytheism because one male god was so much more like them! The Visigoths came in and finished the job.

Today, if you find yourself surrounded by drab, sexist, snake haters, you have the ancient Romans to thank for it.

The cult of Dionysus was wiped out, although many secretly stuck with their festivals and practices. The Romans were good at stirring up hatred for free thinkers. It was much like what happened to the Cathars.

The two groups, Bacchanalians and Cathars, had little in common, one being freewheeling partiers and the other, pious vegetarians. Other than being extinguished by forces out of Rome, the groups had female equality as an important societal norm.

We see a lot of these same tactics today, often lead by women who have embraced ambivalent  sexism—you know, the whole good woman bad woman Madonna vs whore ideal. There have been a slate of hate lawspassed in many states, often sparked by fears of promiscuity, particularly by people who married young and embraced strict gender roles. Women who gave up education to marry are often at the forefront, worried their partners will cheat. Men who feel stuck in society try to gain social status in their own eyes by being self-appointed morality police. It is politically strategic to target these insecure people and to find another group to scapegoat. Traditionally, scapegoats were physically ugly people beaten and driven out of a town to ward off bad luck—monsters of a sort. Thus, creating an unequal society where some feel they’ve had adversity in life is a way to keep the powerful in their cushy positions. It’s not nice, but it works.

This is a long discussion to illustrate the historical and current problems a college for monsters in a small rural town might face, even if the monsters are as well-behaved as they can be. And what could be more frightening than a gorgon professor—educated, female, and deadly?

Despite all of the heavy problems, the novel is funny, even whimsical. It’s for college fans and equality fans and monsters everywhere. If there is anything about you that put snakes on your head, it’s for you!

In any case, here’s my shortened pitch:

Professor Gormley Grimn didn’t choose the Gorgon life—the Gorgon life chose her…sort of. When she was cursed by the jealous fiancée of her study partner, Gormley fled, leaving those she loved behind to become a professor of chemistry at Manster College. It’s a safely secluded life, devoid of sex–until she falls into a lusty affair with Dean Ormr Snaakemon—half smooth-skinned man, half smooth-scaled snake, one hundred percent hottie. Life as a cursed Gorgon finally doesn’t seem so bad. Gormley’s a lover, not a killer. 

When the local Purity League vows to stamp out all monsters, she’s pushed to a decision.  Should she and her students stick with her no-killing principles, or join forces with the anti-Purity League Knobbers—a group of demigods, including the woman who cursed her?   When all you need is love and a college education, does anything make fighting worth it? 

Snakes in the Class is a monster romance novel featuring steamy snakes and a touching HEA. It is the first book in the Monster College Chronicles series.

In the next post, I’ll show the cover and talk about how it came to be. (The illustration for today’s post is clip art, not the cover.)

Snakes in the Class will be out this August 29, in time for back to school. I’ll be giving a reading at Beaverdale Books on Sept. 11. I’d love to talk more about it with anyone!

The family recently took a trip to France. We spent most of the time in Provence in the Luberon region, nesting in a villa in the quaint town of Roussillon.

One thing you notice in France is how good it smells! The agriculture here includes melons, herbs, olives, wine, and lavender.

My son took the photos of the lavender fields.

Everywhere you go are flowers and olive trees.

The ochre tinted buildings have colorful doors and shutters.

Roussillon is known for its ochre. You can even tour a mine—not at all rigorous.

The iron rich soil along with limestone and plenty of silica stimulates the growth of many different plants including orchids, chestnuts, pines, heather, and the herbs found in Herbs de Provence.

It’s also got plenty of cute shops and art stores.

No photos allowed at the art stores but the region is also known for fabrics.

Nearby, the beautiful town of Gordes is made of sedimentary rocks and perched on a mountain.

One day, we took a trip to Calenques of Cassis. Click on this link and see the cliff we walked along to get to a beach. No thanks Google maps, for not warning us of the steepness. We lived. No one fell off. I’m not sure how. Somehow this route to Port Pin was not as easy as it’s rumored to be.

This was our reward when we reached our destination. Fortunately, we found a safer path back to our car.

L’Isle-sur-la-Sorgue is a pretty town filled with canals and a lively market. Getting there involved a lot of twists and turns. Some of us (not me, I was a tagalong) rented cars and navigated the massif. Somehow, this area is advertised as good for cycling. I’m not sure about the bicyclists but we in our cars only screamed a few times as we squeezed through the narrow roads, far less than when we drove in Italy.

I wished I had my water testing equipment. I could show the people of Iowa what water can be—so clear and filled with fish.

This says Pierre and Marie Curie Chemin. I thought “chemin” meant lab but really, it’s a street. When in France, try to bring someone along who speaks French. The locals aren’t dying to practice their English, although I found the French merchants very good at upselling.

The merchants are very liberal with samples.

Nougat is made from sugar, honey, and nuts.

Before you know it, you’ll have sampled your way into many euros worth of nougat.

Southern France also has plenty of castles for exploring many built for by the Cathars as they tried, ultimately in vain, to keep religious Crusaders  from exterminating them. One of their many beliefs was equality between men and women—very unpopular with the pope! Lesson here—watch out for those religious authoritarians! They’re mean.

 Here are some photos from Carcassonne, some of which is now a lively marketplace.

Now I’m back to the land of corn and soybeans. I wish we had some lavender fields or at least better smells. Flowers are where it’s at. Barnswallow Flowers, I’m talking about you!

Not long ago, I was in France and took a picturesque train ride from Avignon to Paris. You know what I saw? Farms. Farms producing grains, lush melons, olives, flowers, orchards, and vineyards along with fields of dairy and beef cattle. The scene was idyllic.

Above: passing by a farm in Southern France

France is food independent, producing the most sugar beets of any country in the world. They also grow grapes for wine (of course), and corn for cattle and goats and other animals. A map of the farming areas here. They’re pretty proud of it, too, as evidenced by this cereal “Made and cultivated here in France.”

As an Iowan, I was always told to shut up any criticism of our monoculture farming. “We feed the world” is an oft repeated mantra. Clearly, Iowa doesn’t feed France. They have their own farms and vineyards. The fresh produce in the markets isn’t from Iowa. I got to wondering, does Iowa feed anybody? The answer is it can’t be relied upon for a healthy diet.

The US is the largest exporter of food but it is followed very closely by  Germany, France, the Netherlands, and Italy.  The US is also by far the largest importer of food. It imports more food than it exports, in fact. If we are feeding the world, we’re doing a bad job of it. (Click this link to see the import-export status of many countries.)  Most countries are food self-sufficient —even Saudi Arabia. The most food insufficient countries are in Africa, their farming disrupted by conflict and climate change. Being food insufficient is a crisis for a country.  We think of it happening elsewhere but in the US, the import, export ratio is not currently in our favor.

In other words, Iowa doesn’t feed the world. On a state by state basis,  Iowa ranks tenth in the amount of land converted to farmland. What are we doing with all that land? What are we producing? Corn is by far the most abundant commodity followed by hogs.

About 11% of all corn goes to processing for things like corn syrup and cereal. Fermented corn cobs can be used to make citric acid, a substance found in plenty of foods.

A whopping 57%-41% of Iowa corn goes to making ethanol to put in gasoline. As for ethanol, I try to avoid it. I have a hybrid car and rarely have to fill the tank. Under these conditions, ethanol can be corroding.

The rest of the corn grown in Iowa goes to feed animals to fatten them for meat. Less than one percent goes to the corn people eat. About 15% of Iowa corn is exported, mostly to Mexico. Mexico plans to ban GMO corn, beginning a phase out in 2024. Right now, the US Secretary of Agriculture, Tom Vilsack, has gotten them to soften their stance.

Iowa feeds the world meat and processed corn products and ethanol. If you look up the top ten farm products in Iowa, you’ll not see a fruit or vegetable. This isn’t a healthy diet. For fruits and vegetables,  we need to turn to another state–California is the nation’s top agricultural state.

France looked delightfully pastoral, a lot like Iowa in the old days, before ethanol took over with added windmills for energy production.  I’m not saying what we have now is worse, although the visual appeal of today’s monoculture is lacking. Ethanol’s driving force is to rely less on other countries for oil by replacing it and its feedstocks with bio-based materials. It made sense but with more fuel, all we did was use more.

What’s wrong is the refusal to consider the downsides and to plan for the future. It seems like asking for trouble to make so much “food” into fuel. Can we explore other energy options here and return in part to cultivating more food? Other countries have been working on it. We should, too. There’s nothing wrong with being proud of your place. But let’s be honest. Iowa doesn’t feed the world. To say we do is a lie. it’s arrogant. I can’t be proud of that.

If you want to understand how living populations work together, a walk through Big Rock Park to view the spring ephemerals will do it. Kristen Siewert and Tom Rosberg each lead a foray into the Big Rock Park bur oak savanna this spring to help nature lovers do just that.

Pictured above: Jacob’s ladder by Kayla Lindquist.

Although the trips were only a few weeks apart, the flowering plants weren’t the same because they were, well, ephemeral.  Ephemeral plants have a brief blooming season, popping up sequentially and providing pollinators’ first food. They almost take turns flowering and as Tom Rosberg explained, this means they don’t compete with each other for pollinators. When the trees leaf out and the forest light dims, they stop flowering.

Spring ephemerals are an important source of food for bees and butterflies. The red admiral butterfly winters here in Iowa, making these first flowers of spring necessary for their survival. A popular ephemeral with them is the Spring Beauty.

Garter snake eyes a Dutchman’s Britches. Copywrite of Kayla Lindquist Photography©

Copywrite of Kayla Lindquist Photography© https://www.kaylalindquistphotography.com/midwest-plants

Spring beauty and Dutchman’s britches, shown above, are plants which rely on ants to disperse their seeds. They produce seeds containing elaiosomes which are oil-rich packets of nutrient which act as smorgasbords for ant. The ants carry the seeds, discard them, and feed their larva the elaiosomes. You can read more about this here.

Spring beauty can be white or pink and variations in-between, including white with pink stripes. Pink seems to be the favorite for pollinators and those with pink pollen are especially prized by miner bees. Deer and rabbits prefer the pink flowers as well.

Some of the earliest spring ephemerals are the trout lilies. Trout lilies are so name because of their leaves resemble trout swimming in a stream. They are listed as being“special concern” and threatened species.

If we had an official flower of Big Rock Park, it might very well be the prairie trout lily also called the white fawn trout lily or Prairie Fawn Lily. Not only does Big Rock Park have a large population, the flower looks like a Dutch bonnet from Volendam, making them a perfect icon for the town of Pella. A very similar species with more mottled leaves, the white trout lily, can be found near the white fawn lily in the more open meadow area of the park.

Below: Dr. Rosburg discusses the intricacies of the Prairie Fawn Lily. Photo by Kayla Lindquist.

Below: Prairie Fawn Lily (photo by Steve Johnson) Big Rock Park has the biggest population of this plant in Iowa! They are now in hibernation and will reemerge next April.

For those lucky enough to find it, the showy orchis is one of several native wild orchids in the park. It resides in the southern part of the park but is hard to find. At one time, it was trampled by paintballers! Invasive honeysuckle has spread into its territory, helped along by digging for new sewer lines at the parameter of the park. Hopefully the park can someday be declared a natural wildlife area and the ephemeral orchid will thrive again.

Photo by Steve Johnson

Above: Kristen Siewert and Kayla Lindquist enjoying the fine art of “forest bathing” and standing on the rock.

Although technically not ephemeral, Jack(or Jill) -in -the-pulpit pops up and flourishes from March to June in Big Rock Park. These plants have male and female flowers (the females have two leaves and some biologists say they are greener, photos here). In general, better nourished and more mature plants become females. The flowers can also be bisexual. The plant’s sex can change from year to year.

Two jack-in -the -pulpit showing maroon spadix. Dark colors guard plants from too much light and can warm the interior of the flower.

A young Jack or Jill emerging. Photo by Steve Johnson.

One biologist pointed out that maroon flowers often attract flies and don’t smell good. This is true for the jack-in -the -pulpit. They emit a smell that resembles fungus. When fungus eating gnats come to get a meal, they fall into the pulpit. Male flowers coat them with pollen and have an opening for the flies to escape. The females trap the (hopefully) pollinated flies, which have no escape but they bring the pollen. Some studies have found that the flowers emit a smell that resembles a female fungus gnat, luring male gnats into the plant. The female plants will go on to form a stalk of red berries which can be found throughout the park in the fall. Be careful! Every part of this plant is poisonous. Click here for photos.

Photos of the Jack and Jills- in-the–pulpit taken by Steve Johnson. Photo of berries taken by Cathy Haustein

Mayapple is another common spring flowering plant at Big Rock Park, prevalent in the north west side of the park. Mayapples are big and green and nearly dwarf their one white flower.

Photo above by Sheril Graham.

Garlic mustard is an invasive species in the park. Bees love it and it’s edible but it puts out chemicals that kill other plants, including trees, disrupting their symbiotic fungi. We didn’t feel at all guilty pulling it up but to really get rid of it, the plant should be put in a plastic bag, sealed up, and dumped in the trash. If you walk through some of it, brush off the bottom of your shoes or you’ll bring it home.

This article has mentioned fungi several times and fungi are prevalent at the park, including the sought-after morel mushroom.

As we transition into summer, most of these spring finds have settled down beneath the surface or have traded blossoms for berries. They’ll be back next spring to nourish our souls along with the pollinators!

Above: a large group follows Dr. Tom Rosburg on May 7. Photo by Sheril Graham

Thank you to Marion County Community Foundation and Pella Community Foundation for sponsoring the nature walks.